Assignment for “The Limits of Friendship,” by Maria Konnikova (pp. 255-261, in Emerging, also linked on syllabus)
- Consider the impact of social media on your own friendships, and friendships in general/on a more global scale. In what specific ways has social media influenced your friendships? You might explain with specific experiences to make your point.
I went to a boarding school from the age of 14 to 18. During breaks is when I felt the loneliness because I was used to being around people; having a roommate; having all my meals with peers and teachers; living in a dorm. I used social media to keep in touch with my friends who live far away, globally and nationally. If I didn’t have this technology I wouldn’t have those interactions and relationships anymore. I don’t really use social media otherwise. I don’t actively post or follow hundreds of accounts. Though one time I did delete snapchat one summer and one of my friends was very emotionally upset about it. She said to me “I thought something bad had happened to you, post your leaving next time.” I was like ok.
- Read the piece a 2nd time. Mark passages where the author defines the Dunbar number and the rule of three. Then explain these two terms in your own words, referencing at least one direct quote from Konnikova’s essay to support your response. Write your explanation of these terms as a paragraph or two
The Dunbar Number is how many people we call casual friends. And that the number grows and decreases to a “rule of three”.
In this quote from the text by Maria Konnikova “ While the group sizes are relatively stable, their composition can be fluid. Your five today may not be your five next week; people drift among layers and sometimes fall out of them altogether.” This states that the size is relatively stable and can be fluid. This ties in with the Dunbar number and “rule of three”.
- In your opinion, what does it take to maintain a meaningful friendship? How does this maintenance connect to elements within Konnikova’s essay? Include your thoughts on Konnikova’s following statement: “[…] what happens if you’re raised from a young age to see virtual interactions as akin to physical ones?” (Konnikova 259).
It takes connection and contact to maintain a meaningful relationship. I think virtual interactions are ok but they aren’t the same as being with someone in person. Staying in contact through social media have served their purpose in quarantines but not for when healthcare is not involved. But if people were raised from a young age then they wouldn’t understand the connectedness as being around a group of people physically they would be cold.
- Write one paragraph in which you argue that your social media and/or online connections will benefit your acclimation to academic and social life at UNE. In a following paragraph, make a case for how social media connections might negatively impact your acclimation. Be specific in both paragraphs. In a final sentence or two, explain which argument feels most authentic to your experience, and why.
Social media is a benefit because at the start of the year I was having trouble making more friends. And It was helpful to me to speak with my friends from highschool because I haven’t spoken to them and caught up with them because I missed them. Since they are not from my hometown and live internationally or are all around the USA. I don’t get to talk with them often, so talking with them and finding confidence and having that breath of fresh air. It helped me make more friends from getting that social interaction that I’m familiar with. I think that social media benefits my acclimation to social life at UNE because it keeps me attuned with social events and also people from UNE follow each other so I follow friends of friends and vice versa. Also I’ve noticed that people send friends tiktoks or reels from instagram to each other that are funny or are related to their friend who has said they are interested in.
A negative way social media can affect acclimation to any university or college is maybe some people judge other people’s Instagram or social profile. A lot of people in my generation like to stereotype each other. They tend to have a materialistic worth of each other. Who looks the best in their photos; who’s doing the coolest stuff; who looks like they are having the most fun. All they want to do is be affiliated all the time. There is too much worth from other people’s eyes, and that is really damaging for everyone from just a like or comment. It takes the physical touch and feeling out of social interaction.
