“I think that it is important to have empathy and awareness of what someone else is feeling because it is how we communicate as a society and without it everyone wouldn’t be kind or understanding.”
My thesis takes a very clear and open stance on the matter. By using the words “important” and “how” to explain why it is important to have empathy. And then I add something about if we didn’t have empathy for what our society would be like. The multiple components to it because I continue into what the topics I would be going further into for my analysis. I think I can re craft it to not have some repetitive words like “and ”. Maybe go into a bit of detail and give an example of why we need it to communicate and how without it no one would be kind or understanding. Add some personal experience to my intro after the thesis, to make it more legitimate as a person in our society. I think it’s a pretty broad statement that doesn’t get into specifics.
