1)My essay’s most notable strength I believe is my conclusion, because I feel it ties the essay together in a way that delivers my message to my reader. In this quote that shows what I did in my essay…”Having and showing empathy is social to its roots; it’s choosing to be social and to interact. We choose to be aware when we need to empathize with someone else. It is a choice to know what is going on in their lives. Also it doesn’t necessarily mean we will feel the same kind of “pain” they are feeling. We could totally not understand the experience they have shared with you. If we didn’t have empathy then we wouldn’t have a social structure in our world as humans. If we didn’t have empathy we wouldn’t have any kindness because you must understand to be kind to someone, we wouldn’t have respect enough to listen to someone else. Empathic awareness is in no way “overrated”. “(Carrona, 6). In my quote from my essay it wraps the points I made throughout it up very cleanly. Starting with more of my ideas and not quotes.
2)The techniques I used for primary sources like DFW and Bloom. Where nejsayer and barclay paragraphs and as sandwich paragraphs which worked a bit better. But I did use my secondary source (chen) to help with a nejsayer against Bloom’s ideas. I also did use more of my ideas and I used some of my personal experiences that helped with my point, but I tried not to silence any other point that was made on Bloom’s part for the nejsayers.
3)I think that connection in the barclay paragraph makes it flow through personal experience and using the evidence to help prove your point and makes it just make more sense. And it made the sources that say different views help with my thesis. I thought this was more of showing a perspective that helped connect it to the source.
4) My second essay thesis is more evolved and more evaluated then my first one, because my second essay has more depth to it than the first one. The second one also explains my thoughts better and it is adding to my ideas. “I think that social media is helpful in keeping friendships until we see our friends again. “ (Carrona, 1(essay one)). You can see in it that it’s very short and only gets in so much. Whereas in my second one “I think that it is important to have empathy and awareness of what someone else is feeling because it is how we communicate as a society and without it everyone wouldn’t be kind or understanding. Imagine everyone walking around all angry because no one else is aware of how they’re feeling or what they have been going through because of no interaction. “(Carrona, 1(essay two)). I add a bit more to it and make more of why I think what I said for my thesis versus just saying a slim thesis non thought out with more of my ideas.